21 and single. Why you need to be single for at least a year.


Why you NEED to be single for at least one year, when you are in your 20s!

You can pretty much do a lot at this age: You can travel, have your own place, work full time, go to university.. You can explore so much without having any major stressful responsibilities. You are at a perfect age to find yourself, get to know yourself, what you love and hate about this world andTtake up EVERY single opportunity YOUR heart desires. Yes, you CAN be selfish.

If you have been in a relationship, in and out in your 20s, then you need to READ this.

I have been in two relationships in my life. One, the last one ended a few months after turning 20. From then, to where I am now on I have dated a few guys but overall I am so glad I spent my year being 21 and single – not in a relationship.  I’m 21 years old and have been single for just over year, I can honestly say that it has been the most enlightening, liberating, self-fulfilling and successful year of my life.

I loved the fact I had all the spare time in the world to achieve what I wanted because I was able to be selfish with my time. I also learnt so much from being single too.  Even going on dates have taught me a lot about the next relationship I want, espeically the man I need and want in my life. I have been on dates with over 10 guys this year (I know) but I needed to get out there and just experience it for myself. I am still young and learning of course, but I do know what type of man and which qualities attract me (long term) and can quickly tick off any guys who do not fall under the perfect man for me. 

I truly feel everyone needs to experience a great relationship at some point of their life. A relationship, with the right person, can be so inspiriing and  possibly make you the happiest you have ever been. However, with the wrong person, it often ends in heartbreak and tough life lessons. I know for sure, as I have been at the lowest point of my life so far which had something to do with a breakup I had to end. It is best to look back on the year of being 21 stress free, selfish and just a time to get to know yourself a little bit better!

I will NEVER ever forget the day I started to take charge of my own life.

I realized that I was not living my life as I wanted to live and saw that the world is 100% my oyster. I was excited. I was excited to meet so many new people, each time I met someone new I knew there were more guys out there. There were more guys out there and some were better than the ones I had met before. It was amazing having a carefree selfish year to do what I wanted.

What year of being single will teach you:


My friends are amazing, I am truly blessed. If I told you the last 5 things a couple of my friends have done for me you would either say, they must be in love with you OR ask (jokily) how much did I pay them. They are angels. My family are a gift. I wouldn’t be where I am and the woman I have become with them. My mother has done so much for me, everything she does is for me and my brother. You will appreciate the good friends in your life and the time you spend together. I made so many memories with all my friends and family and always had time to make plans with them. Even if you end up in a long term relationship with a guy and end up marrying him, you can never get back time spent with family and friends. These memories will last forever and EVER! You can be assured that they will never end it with you or you will end it with them.

Friends and family stay with you for life! Social relationships are so important to your health. To have people who can challenge and support you, no matter what is the best feeling ever.. They are too important to ignore; they are the most constant part of your life. I have a billion of memories with my friends this year so I am glad I haven’t spent all of my life with one guy!


A year by yourself gives you such a crystal clear view on so many aspects of your own life.

Your career. CHECK

Future relationships. CHECK

Your dreams and ambitions — they all become within your grasp when you take the time to ask yourself what it is YOU want in life.

What are YOUR dreams? What are YOUR beliefs? What do YOU value in a relationship? Where do YOU want to be in 5-10 years time? What career path do YOU want to follow?

The main perk of being single for a year is that you only have to answer to yourself. If you don’t have the answers to these questions, you now have the time to discover them. What do you have to lose? Make a list of goals for yourself — weekly, monthly or annually — and you’ll be amazed by how clear it will all seem.


We learn everyday. We learn about ourself everyday! So, being single for a year means you have time for YOU, learning what YOU love the most, using up YOUR time to do what you want. You become (I know) more ambitious (which is sexy), more independentconfident and self-reliant. You test your strength and push boundaries which is the greatest satisfaction in life, especailly as you know you have done it alone! You feel empowered and liberated; I certainly do! 

I will ALWAYS believe that the best and healthiest relationships involve two people who really know who they are as an individual. Personally, I would 

advise anyone in his or her 20s to embark upon this singleton life for at least a year to discover what’s important. A lot of people I know, know of and even knew have cirulated thier scedules and practically their life around ONE person, their bf. It’s unhealthy and not great at all. Your dreams are important too and you experience new things suddenly. It may just be the best thing you ever do!

So take a year out to be selfish, especially at the age of 21 and like myself, you will not regret it!

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