Death can really inspire YOU to live life to its FULLEST.

Hey lovelies,
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Thanks for everyones support, kind messages about a recent sad time in my life, but also still supporting and giving love to the blog. Thank you.
This post is just really me pouring out my feelings’, thoughts, about an experienced I’ve had recently and how the made me think about my own life,
Death, we are born, live, well most people do, then we die. It’s guareented; it’s not exactly what we want to read, hear about, or experience.
If someone said to me, you’ll live to your grandma’s age, 95, I’d be the happiest woman alive, longestivty runs in my family, good health and a lot of laughs, so theres a high chance. But on the other hand, we do not know what will happen tomorrow, one of my best friends passed away couple of years ago, she was 25.. Death can really give life a meaning. How do you want to spend your life? The hardest lesson in life is feel every emotion intensely and not let it affect our life. Death was always something I heard about, but never experienced, until one my best friends died in 2016, then on friday, a first family member, one which i was close to , my grandma.
The past few weeks, behind closed doors, in bed, quickly after important meetings, I cried. A lot. Hurt, regret, anger, questions, wishing you could relive moments. Numbeness. It’s tough.
Painful moments can turn around into a positive, you can take it with you in your heart and say these moments will make me live life to fullest. Live each day as if it was the last, as cliche as that sounds, to laugh, make someone laugh, do the best, live my potential. Appreciate everything.
No one is perfect, we all make mistakes, but imagine a life where you’re conscious of decisions and how it will make others feel. Living life to the fullest doesn’t necessarily mean to focus on your own, but take into consideration of others too. Bring out your best, and best from others then your life will feel like it’s being lived to the fullest.
What my grandma taught me:
1. Be a strong woman: My grandma was the definition of a strong woman. prodigious.
She gained an immeasurable respect from everyone due to her intelligence, quick wit, selfless and thoughtful personality. She spoke to everyone with a force which made you realise quickly you couldn’t change her mind, she was direct to the point and strong minded. I always admire that. I’ve never seen her upset, annoyed, or angry. If anything she took everything on her stride, and smile. That’s strength, to not let feelings change your moods. I can wear my heart on my sleeve, become easily moody, but I’ve learnt its only a pass by. Don’t let small things affect you so much. Stay strong.
  1. Being happy is everything.Happiness is a power.
My grandma was always smiling, her spirit was truly infectious, you couldn’t not reciprocate. I remember as a child, she had a sining plant, it would sing “don’t worry, be happy” we would play it now and then, she was nod and smile and I would copy. It was a simple little thing we loved, but it’s true. why worry? you can’t control everything in life and worrying certainly won’t change an outcome. My grandma would say don’t worry about anything. I am the biggest worrier ever, an escapade, maybe thats the maternal side inside of me, but I try to learn to let things go and sleep without worrying.
  1. Looks mean nothing. I remember before my partner stevie came to see my grandma in hospital with me, I warned my grandma in a jokey way that he’s super tall, she probably took it on the wrong way, but then blasted out “ Vigorous, had blurted, It doesn’t matter how tall he is, it’s how he treats you..”. When she met him, she said, you both take turns in looking after each other, help each other. It’s true, looks fade, plus anyone can buy cosmetic. But if someone is there when you’re broke, you don’t have anyone, they are truly there for YOU, then thats all that truly matters. Yes looks, to some extent can mean something as in chemistry etc,  but overall in life in the outside world, long term, outside the box, it doesn’t mean shit. My grandma taught what love was, as she and my grandad met at 13, had 9 children and truly devoted. I look at their relationship when it comes to love- it makes me happy.
  2. Health is absoutely important, its paramount, but don’t feel reprehensible, to have something sugary now and then. My grandma never smoked, never had alcohol, nor did she over eat, or had unhealthy shit. She truly looked after her body thats what I admire. I have my ups and downs, but I have been more consistent than ever this year. She’s my go to for being healthy, at 95 she was still in great appearance and able.
  3. Stay grounded. My grandma wasn’t;t airy fairy at all, she was always realistic. Moreover, taught me from a young age, about morals, integrity, love, happiness, health and how to treat people. No matter how much money you earn, what you wear, where you go, materialistic things come and go, if you stay grounded then you’ll go far. Finally, keep your feet on the ground, because thats the only way forward.
Grandma, I know you’re reading this, I know you think I talk a lot aha, I was a tough cookie as a child, but thank you for everything ..and anytime I feel down I shall think of you. You made me feel a million times better whenever I left yours, I will never experience that feeling again but I’ll cherish them.. You gave me the best childhood I could ever imagine. Grieving will take time for me, so excuse my panda eyes hey.. Sleep well.
p.s All my jokes, randomness, outburst of songs and comedy moments are for you. I hope you’re up there smiling.
I love you.
XTINE

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