STYLE// STELLA MCCARTNEY
“this bag is over £500, don’t drop it…’
Gorgeous.. over on https://www.farfetch.com/uk/
Perfect christmas present!
Dealing with emotional baggage..
Wow, what a week.
What a year.. It’s nearly christmas, how mental is that- this year has flown by!
How are you doing? I hope you’ve had a good start to the week- Mid November is always stressful for everyone. Sit back and relax with your hot drink!
“Did someone lose an angel? Cause that Angel must be you. Cause I’ve never been able to light the world like you do. You don’t know you’re beautiful You hide your pain you hide your tears, you hide it all. You keep standing tall. That’s what you do And that’s why I pray for you. God can you hear me? I need you right now I need you to meet me somewhere, somehow. I don’t need no money, I don’t need no fame. I just need the good ones to not be in pain. Spare me a miracle, only one miracle Spare me a miracle…”
Collaboration with Farfetch, I love the team and the website of course!
Bags. Every girl loves a fancy, luxury bag, no matter what she says, every girl wants one; I’m from far materialistic, but one designer bag in your room is just a bit of heaven! This one from Stella Mccartney is just pure heaven! I love the feel of it, the material is just so silky, it;s leight weight for a handbag and the silver detail around it makes it look a bit edgy! I love dark coloured bags, so opting for a grey piece is different for me! You can fit practically all your essentials and works with with any outfit, points!
What’s part of your baggage? Do you go for small or bigger bags?
But..baggage can also refer to emotions from the past that get in the way of the present..
Sometimes the past should be abandoned, yes. Life is a journey and you can’t carry everything with you. Only the usable baggage.” ~Ha Jin
My mother is the best example of dealing with emotional baggage, she’s so strong, sassy and wise. Hilarious, too. She will say it how it is, tell you to shutup and wipe your tears and stop being like that. Literally. Sorry felicia..She’ll put you in a place where you feel, well stupid, for worrying/crying/thinking of things which makes you upset. “It’s life, get over it, well tomorrow you’ll feel better as it’s a new day, don’t think about it.. Criticism was also her preferred method of communication towards me and Adam.. She will always point out what’s wrong with a situation, person or how you think. She will make you see the bigger pictures. She’s a tough person who will help you wise up. I thank the lord to have her, but, as a child and teen, I learned to keep every thought to myself, locked away; eventually became a top expert at deflecting personal issues and questions. I never confided to her about anything, so you can see why it can be hard for one to open up.. If you can’t tell you parent/parents, then it’s an issue..
She doesn’t talk about her feelings, continues with everything pushing every emotion to the back of her mind. At the end of the day, in her opinion, so what, who cares? I carried this, ‘I’m strong, I can deal with anything, who cares, it’s life’ mentality into adulthood. I avoided talk about my deep feelings..
When I had a lot on my case, I knew not opening up at all was in fact not making me happy, yet, I have to admit, I wasn’t ready to change at all. It emerged on me that I was seriously afraid to let go because defensiveness was part of my identity..
I recently decided to open up completely, to my family, friends, therapist. This week has been amazing in that sense. I feel free..
Part of me felt good, it was the biggest release and I feel a huge weight is off my shoulders. Yet a part of me feels vulnerable and strange. The real issues was not that I had baggage, because everyone has baggage, but that it had finally come to define me, which is eye opening..
After opening up, I eventually had to go deeper, discover the person I wanted to be, and then act upon it. I hate what I had to go through, the painful experiences, how I felt suicidal many times and hurt myself. But going through it made me stronger, life will force to be stronger. It’s a blessing in some ways. You wouldnt be you, without those times, right?
So now, to this day, I want to be strong, able to open up and not let any past emotions affect me. “Girl, I got shit to deal with to worry ’bout thattttt..’ I had discovered that letting go is harder than it sounds. Relaxing a long-held belief isn’t a 24 hour, 7 days, 2 weeks, or even a one-year process. However, it is possible. Very possible!
5 step process I discovered:
1) Write an honest list:
I love to write lists, but when you write an honest list, you’ll feel a huge sense of relief afterwords; so important to be 100% honest and write down whatever comes to mind. Small or big. Don’t judge what comes up, just take note.
It’s off your chest, for life. It’s a list staring at you in the face,- but, what can it really do? It can’t weigh you down anymore, so look at it and say this is just the last of you. And throw the list away.
2) Find positives
Try to find least one positive in each painful experience/situation.. There is always the silver lining in your cloud. For example, my painful relationship at University taught me I am a lot stronger mentally than I think I am and dealing with painful experiences taught me how to be strong on my own. It taught me one bad relationship doesn’t mean I can’t find love again, something had to happen to make my open my eyes and realise not all guys are the same.. and most importantly my worth. I deserve the best, we all do. Never settle for anything less than you deserve.
Take the positives and turn them into affirmations “I will treat others how I want to be treated”… This puts the emphasis on positive future behaviours.. Make the affirmations tangible too, self love and love for others in a quote, reminders on your phone, post notes, etc..
4) Practice patience
It takes time to change habits, trust me, it has taken me 3 damn years to change the way I think and how I am after the painful experiences I have had. Especially when they are rooted in deep fears or hurt.
Practice patience by meditating, giving time for yourself and watching motivational videos. If you end up finding yourself carrying old baggage, be sure to acknowledge it, then gently release it and focus your energy to your affirmations.
Everyone has pain. It’s part of what makes us who we are. What defines us, however, is how we handle it. Visualize yourself being free from emotional baggage!
5) Self love.
My favourite quote:
“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for extraordinary destiny..” I know my destiny is out of this world and I am excited for the future, God wouldn’t prepare me for it no other way, than hardships, difficult situations and painful times..
Know that amazing things hasn’t happened yet, and you’re about to have the best ride of your life! Be patient. Tell the universe what you want, you’ll become a better person and work towards those goals! You’ll notice your aura will change and so will your world!
Give yourself love, buy those shoes, go on a trip with your friends for a weekend, go on holiday, shower yourself with positive thoughts about see how far you’ve come and love yourself for that!
You’re someone who is loved, no matter how low you feel, other people can’t imagine their life without you.. so don’t consume the emotional baggage and let it take over you, let it go, it’ll happen in time and know that pain doesn’t last forever.
PLUS, It’s nearly christmas, so a turkey and endless christmas foodporn etc is coming.. oh and 2017.
take care babe!