I can understand how you feel right now; emotional, hurt, shit and disappointed. If only you knew, right? ‘How the hell was I dumb all this time.. I’m not that dumb when I’m half drunk off my face ordering kfc and still get my order right’.. Haha

But, if only the person you are now could tell the person back then what you know now; you wouldn’t be in this situation. It sucks, it sucks real bad. ‘Why me God, why me felicia!’

‘If only I listened to Christy, or If only I listened to my intuition at first, or ‘I knew it, or why did I even go there..’ Ha, you get it.. You hate yourself, or worse, hate life because you hate yourself for being with such an asshole. Forget what hurt you but, never forget what it taught you.

But, honestly, I can imagine that things are incredibly painful, I feel you, you undoubtedly hate yourself for not sticking to your intuition; your head can fool you and heart can soften you, but intuition is always right. You could have spent those memories with someone much more deserving and special. Not another rock.. You wanted a diamond.

Trust me when I say this, but the reasons you can justify for feeling unable to trust anyone is valid and always reasonable, it just is.

You’re beautiful and intelligent.. beauty and brains will always equal success and you have both. You’re so much more than what he can offer.. You have the world at your feet, and the funny thing is doll, you don’t even know it.. But you should. You have to wipe those tears, say a big f you and move on.. because honestly, time is too precious to waste.. Look in the mirror. Please.

You were always too good for him, and the sad thing is he knew it.. You turn heads as you walk through the door.. one direction line I knew, lame, but you do.. You turn heads of guys who are diamonds, and you’re still crying over a loser rock. Why is that? Were you dating an onion? No?

Heartache sucks balls. Heartache can be traumatize you; it can leave you vulnerable and difficult to mask and forget forever. You wanted that person, you wanted them so bad you would do anything to be with them. Having them in your arms feels like home, heaven, a dream. You loved their quirks, smile, sense of humour and how you just had this ‘special’ connection which gives you butterflies.. But doll, people have been there, and have overcome these hurt feelings.. He was nothing special, lets be realistic, you couldn’t see it.. He broke the trust, was never straight forwards, he was selfish, useless and pretty much had a dead end future.. and Gods plan never stated you had to be in his sad, uneducated lad boring life..

It can almost feel impossible, out of reach to run past the obstacles and make everyone understand your raw emotions and thoughts. I get it.

I know, I have been there, in fact I suffered a good 2 years from heartache. He didnt cheat, no much worse, but, in the end what doesnt kill you makes you stronger, and wiser, right? When you’re lying on the floor at 4am crying out, hating yourself, and wanting life to end.

Whatever reason you have for feeling unable to trust, know that it’s valid and perfectly reasonable. I find it extremely difficult to trust. I only trust like a handful of people.. that I have known for pretty much my whole life.. When you’ve been in my shoes, you’ll understand why. Those identifiable surprises which come to life when you see direct messages/ texts, or whenever you ask a question and you know deep inside it can bring you back to the moment when you first realised no man can truly be trusted 100%… You let it sink, until you’re back at the wall fighting for the truth.

People hurt other people.. But what goes around, comes around.

Do you find it difficult to trust? Maybe, you should give your new partner one chance to be a diamond.. Just that one chance. Don’t play or be dumb. Always be wary, there are possible signs to prove things aren’t right, but open your eyes before you make accusations.

Notice the behaviour, read psychology books and get to know the mind and body.  But don’t let your mind play up. Don’t ever ever let yourself suffer again for the mistakes of the man who broke your heart.. Many people will come in and out of your life. That’s life for you. Be realistic. If you have someone who can prove they are different and special and unlike all others, do everything in your power to keep them. It’ll certainly take time; but once you’ve seen a few red flags, confront them and if it’s not for you, leave, asap. -Listen to your friends advice, they only want the best for you; don’t settle straight away. Don’t give yourself away too soon and never sell yourself short!

A relationship without trust is like an ice cream wipped sundae without a cute juicy cherry on top… it’s not complete. It’s just not a relationship.

It can’t blossom automatically into a beautiful connection if you believe he’s screwing up what both of you have..When you completely, 100% trust the person you’re with, the foundation of the relationship will only continue to gradually get stronger..and stronger.

Trusting someone is a choice, and the choice you have to make, so no one else can judge the foundation. When you trust him, he’ll prove to you that he’s worthy of the trust you have.. and as always doll, his actions will show you that there was nothing to doubt or fear from the start…

But, doll, if in the end he truly is an asshole and disappoints you, hurts you, promise me you’ll just move forward? In 5 years none of this will matter, you’ve been through it before. You know the drill..

ALWAYS: Keep your head high, brave that smile, love life and continue to go through life with optimism about what real lovely genuine love and trust can bring.. Because trust me when I say this, it is beautiful..

*Specifically wrote this for my close friends.. one guy messed her around is recently a dad to his ex’s baby, one moved across the world to start a new life and one completely turned out to be a player.. Boring. zzz

Ladies, I love you, all so much, please know your worth. Enjoy life, stay focused on your goals and one day, when you least expect it, you’ll wake up happier than you have ever been.. With someone who deserves you..

Take care,



1 Comment

  1. April 15, 2019 / 11:19 am

    Your best friends are actually the ones who will understand you apart from your family. Tell them a secret and they’ll keep it. If you need help, they’ll be there to support you.

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