“you’re honestly one of the funniest people I’ve met..” “you’re genuinely funny and I don’t think you know actually it Christine..” “literally could laugh all day with your jokes..” naww, thanks felicias!
the funny girl, unintentionally funny; I don’t think I am that funny (yeah, I know I’m not some boring ca-aaant). Although, yah, I much prefer being complimented on my personality, how people see me towards themselves and others than being ‘beautiful, pretty etc..’ Attractive or funny.. because it takes a little more effort to compliment on the latter that my friend is quite flattering as someone took the effort to analyse you in a good way, rather than a simple “pretty’, it shows a little more depth into that person, too, they see beyond the human eye..
The preponderance part of christine-desiree’s life had been premeditated greatly to make others laugh out loud, the ’Christine comedian’.. tempestuously climbing trees as a child while simultaneously performing funny sarcastic replies to my father when he called me for dinner in our garden because I refused to eat (fussy eater???wtf, I know what a shock to the present, eh).. Humour had been and will always be my shield- Predominately a psychological salve.
Regarding humour in daily life; whilst I was in groups/work/family/friend’s, even strangers..(I know, what a weirdo) I’ll consistently be as bubbly as procesco, crazy goofy, funny geeky witty theatrical friend. I’m a walking funny foetus for sure.., eh (!)
If you went through my camera roll, years upon end on mac pics & bits, other than selfies- (which I rarely take anymore), you’ll find pictures of me showing off 4 chins, how big is my penis pics and videos you’d think okay this foetus is mad (ahaha), it’s a recuuring theme: F U N N Y.
I’d much perfer a picture of me laughing/smiling laugh than a forced looking like I am about to take the biggest shit of my life, pose. Also, each photo will bring back memories of those moments; the time clifton took a photo of my jumping on a HUGE tower stand next to christmas tree and joking I nearly fell IN IT and nearly had fallen.. My job is predominately in the entertainment /media industry, always always around people, we laugh, they love it, I enjoy it, it makes everyone feel good about themselves and comfortable, espeically as I meet hundreds of new people a week.. Essentially humour is a great diffuser. If laughter is the best medicine, then I am most certainly a drug dealer.
YAS QUEEN (!)
So, I can tell you this from my experience: Your funny friend is struggling inside and you have no idea..
I struggle with anxiety and severe depression and hardly anyone would know it. I know, penis enlargement/yo daddy jokes and taking the utter piss out of myself, you wouldn’t, who would extract it from that type of behaviour I display? No one.
Some days I really hoped someone would see through the ‘funny girl’ mask, but how could they?!? Colleagues, friends every single one just busted out their balls giggling til their throats couldn’t take anymore.. complimenting how strong and funny I am to get through so much. I’d go home and cry alone, only to spend the whole day making others feel good and laugh, anyone but myself.. Overlooked, prejudged and too busy with my mask to even question the truth.
A comedian we all know of and shocked by: Robin Williams’s suicide some years ago left the world questioning, for once, how a comedian could have been suffering so hard, enough to take his own life. I understood. In conclusion us funny friends are often the least likely to be asked how are you, are you really okay? and less likely to come forward and ask for help at all.
Secrets your banter-saurus friend keep from you:
We don’t want to load you with our downfalls..
Humour is our superpower, imperium.. We don’t want to bring you down with all the downfalls of life, which are negative; so we become such a people-pleaser, anything which is considered a downfall or negative goes into a box, we don’t want to reveal it..We don’t want to add any unnecessary lows to your own list of problems, so we keep private even if we make you laugh and we laugh too, sometimes we are dying inside..
Terrified you’ll stop laughing.
Domination.. We love performing for you and the comical side for us is the way that we control and dominate our surroundings (in a good way FYI). It is our escapism, where we drift from the hurt pain of the pain into the present with smiles and laughs, even for a second. There is this constant fear of what will happen if you stop laughing. We navigate our emotions by laughing because we may not feel strong enough to handle what is truly underneath. In convulsion its a way to distract and convince you (FYI ourselves too) that we are okay (!) (We ARENT OKAY)
Scared to be rejected.
Dynamic.. Totally afraid of terminal day we stop being that comedian is the day we lose our identity. We are scared you’ll see our vulnerable side because we have no way of knowing if you’re around for us, or just around for the show.. we’re afraid of rejection. totally and utterly afraid… If you stopped laughing, perhaps you will see how vulnerable we feel, leave the funny foetus show and never look back?
What to do to help
1. By asking how are you..?! How are you? Hows work really going? Don’t let us fool you, find out how your funny friend is underneath the mask! We are empathicby making you laugh as we’ve asked how you are, so would like the reciprocated too.
2. Learn how to cope a bit better..?! Funny friends feel the constant need to save you. We don’t always want to be superwoman as much as she’s ballsy and terribly perfect. We feel like a therapistsometimes, to bust out another 1/1000 funny jokes, to pull you through, we don’t mind it, but not 24/7, if you cope better it leaves us feeling like the weight of everyones shoulder is on us, please help yourself.
4. Listen and check in! Humor is the best known anti-depressant.. Apart from the anti-depressants, humour, we need that human emotional connection, too. Truth is theres so much pain behind the scenes, so much more, the smiles create an ultimate barrier behind it.. Check on us, here and there, everywhereeee, be magical and always let us know you’re there, for good, even when the silly jokes stop.
This is a collaboration with Femmeluxefinery.co.ukblog post are all my own thoughts, as are the clothing captions relations too! I have always loved two pieces but never have gone out in one apart from holiday; today I’ve mentally said I’ll remain confident and wear it out to west fields! Reception of this look had been utterly shocking, I would receive so comments on how well it fits my body -Boobs 32DD, top can be anywhere from size 6 (stretchy-size 8) and waist is small compared to my hips, so my ratio is 32,28,32 which is considered the ‘perfect body shape’ but I beg to differ ahah!
I always need bottoms which accentuate my figure, bottom can be anywhere from 6-10, again stretchy for 6 and fitted for size 10. However, this two piece is in a size 10, fits so perfectly super comfy, you’ll instantly feel confident as Beyonce on stage and it’s extremely flattering! Fits like a glove! I hope you enjoy my photos! Check out the link and show me what you’ve bought! Unquestionably one of my favourite fashion brands, once you’ve got yours, you’ll see why 😉